As a survivor of domestic violence, I know all too well, the feeling of being helpless. I watched as my mother was repeatedly admitted to the E.R. for over 9 years. Every time she would returned home, I would notice that a little more of life faded from her eyes. I cried out to God, what could possibly be the purpose for all this!?
I too would experience the same brutality at the age of 12, when I was beaten unconscious for playing with a deck of cards. All I remember is turning away from my step father to simply place the cards on the shelf. Next thing I knew, I woke up in the E.R. with blunt force trauma to the back of my head and neck. Again, I asked God what the purpose for this was.
Then when I was around 14, she finally found the strength to get free, But She never fully recovered from all the brutal beatings that she endured, for the rest of her life she struggle with Low Self Esteem, Depression, PTSD, OCD, and Drug Addiction. It was not long before she became a hollow shell withdrawing from the pressures of the real world into her fantasy world.
That day I decided that I would never be helpless again. I started a life long journey into martial arts and have been so blessed all these years. I have grown in many ways: The Physical Skills, Knowledge, Confidence, Self-Control, Patience, Courage, and Compassion for the helpless. I became the warrior that could have stopped my mother from being abused, but why now? When I could not help my mother. Again, I asked God what your purpose for this is.
He answered, “Empower others to have the Courage to stand for themselves, the Compassion to Care for others, even those that mean them harm, and the Confidence to believe in themselves no matter what the conflict.”
In dedication to my mother Deanna Kay Harris 04-23-48 to 08-11-2013. She finally found peace!